Jump City? What the hell?
by Death-Is-Fine
Summary: Phil, an average kid gets sucked into his favourite show... Original I know... He finds out a lot of secrets hidden from the viewer, including Slades identity and why Trigon REALLY came to Earth...Coarse Language damn, hell etc. BBxRae StarxRob
1. Introduction or Damn Summer Mornings

**Chapter 1**

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I do possess/own the Teen Titans but they possess me! 

Btw, I come from the UK so I spell colour and favourite with u's. Plus I say trousers instead of pants, just to let you know.

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9.30 am... 

"Ughhh.. Dude, I shouldn't have stayed up those last 2 or 3 hours..." Phil groaned. He brushed his thin tuft blonde/brown hair out of his blue eyes. He slowly got the covers off of himself. "Damn summer mornings with their brightness! Why couldnt it be winter?" He mumbled and then talked to himself. He put on his black ripped-to-hell jeans and Motorhead t-shirt. He then slipped his Slipknot hoodie on even though its **REALLY **damn hot. He grabbed his gel and spiked his hair into his kick-ass mohawk and sprayed it red. He tiptoed a bit because his big brother was sleeping. After a few seconds, however, he said "Sod it!" and stamped the hell out of the room. His brother didnt wake up though, he could sleep through an air-raid.

When Phil got downstairs he made breakfast, washed, did his teeth and the usual. He then proceeded to the living room where his little brother was watching some crappy 'Dragonball Z' which Phil used to like but since then discovered the utter stupidity of people grabbing energy out of the air. He grabbed his headphones and slammed on some My Chemical Romance and blink 182. After some hardcore pop-punk and emo, Phil grabbed the remote and turned on his Sky + box (A/N: I wish...). He started watching a recorded Teen Titans episode.

"When theres trouble, you know who to call! TEEN TITANS!" Phil sung in his best Dani Filth voice (So damn croaky and screechy.). He was watching his favourite episode 'Spellbound', partly because it had BBxRae ship implied and partly because those spells that Malchior taught Raven where so damn cool! The episode finished but the Titans were still on the screen "What the fu- uh, hell?" Phil wondered, noticing that his mum was in the next room. All of a sudden, the screen glowed light blue and before he knew it, he was getting sucked into the screen "FFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU..." He managed to scream before he passed out...

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Short I know but its more of an introduction... Please R&R or I'll have to chew my arm off. 


	2. Dude, who's he?

**Chapter 2**

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I do not own the Teen Titans, in fact, I hardly own anything at all.

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In a huge, massive tower, shaped like a T, 4 teenage superheroes were watching TV. The other was reading on the couch. One of them had spiky black hair and a weird mask on. All the other Titans wondered how the hell he was meant to see through that damn thing! His name was Robin, the natural leader. Sitting next to him was the bubbly alien princess, Starfire, her crimson hair majestically fell on her orange shoulders. She was very happy most of the time and often confused by the ways of Earth. but don't confuse hercluelessness on Earthly ways for stupidity, she can REALLY pack a punch with her starbolts and laser eyes.Next to Starfire was the big guy, the half-robot techno-freak, Cyborg. When I say this guy is big, i mean it, he was **BIG. **His sonic cannon could rip a hole in the wall, not that he used it for DIY... On Cy's shoulders (to Cyborg's annoyance) was the ever-laughing, comedian Beast Boy. His green skin, eyes, and hair went quite well with his maroon spandex outfit. Sitting on the other couch was Raven, her blue hood pulled far over her violet eyes. She was reading Edgar Allan Poe and seemed faintly amused by it. 

"Fo shizzle ma homies!" Cyborg screamed. Everyone stared at him. "What y'all? I'm speakin like some stupid rapper." Everyone continued staring at him. "Hell, I give up, I'm waxin' the T-car." Cyborg got up and threw Beast Boy on the floor, giving him a mild concussion. BB didnt care though, he was still staring at the TV.

"What ya doin Raven?" Beast Boy asked, "Writing in your diary about me?" He wiggled his eyebrows. Raven just rolled her eyes.

"Would anyone like to journey to the mall of shopping with me?" Starfire asked. No-one spoke. "Anyone?"

Crickets chirped. Finally, someone spoke up.

"I will, after I eat." It was (dun dun dun) Robin!

Robin walked into the kitchen to get some food and drink. Starfire started to follow. All that Starfire heard was whistling, and then a shrill, girly scream.

"AAAAHHHHHH!" Robin screamed, "Theres a spider in the trash! Beast Boy, take the trash out!" he commanded. Beast Boy was drooling at the TV.

"Can't.." He groaned like a zombie,"Show is on..." In fact, Beast Boy was just watching the static.Robin stormed in and turned the TV off. "DUDE!" Beast Boy said angrily, "I was watching that!" Robin's eyes (mask) grew wide.

"What the hell?" He said in an awed voice.

"Dude, what?" BB asked. Robin just stared at the window, "What!" Robin pointed to the TV. Beast Boy turned around, "Dude!" The TV was glowing blue.

"I think it's safe to say that the cable man can _not_ fix that." Raven said monotonously. Cyborg walked in to the room and looked at the TV, then he looked away, then his eyes went wide and he stared at it.

"Shizzle?" he asked. Everyone stared at him. "Alright y'all, I give up." Cyborg then ran and jumped out of a window screaming "Shizzle!". Everyone thought that Cy was gone forever until he appeared in the window. He ran into his room.

"Dude, what the hell!" Beast Boy asked. Cyborg then came out holding a plushie dog.

"I almost forgot Fluffers Fanatastic. Yes I love you!" Cyborg said, nuzzling at the plushie dog. Everyone stared at him yet again. "Didn't your parents ever teach you that it is impolite to stare!" he shouted and jumped out of the window screaming "Shizzle!"

Now the Titans could concentrate on the **REAL **problem. The TV was still glowing blue and they could here a fant screaming of "UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCKKKKK!" And then a kid wearing black and had a red mohawk flew across the room and collided with a wall. He got knocked out. He was lying on the floor, spread-eagle.

"Dude, who's he?" Beast Boy asked, "I hope its not another you from another dimension again!" Robin looked utterly stupified.

"Ummmm, guys, hes opening his eyes.." Robin informed them.

"Oh _joy.."_ Raven drawled. The boy moved his head. Slowly, he opened his eyes.

"Hot damn," he said, "That hurts." He suddenly noticed all the Titans staring at him.. "Jump city... What the hell?"

"Hello friend, what is your name, how did you get here, what is your favourite colour and do you wish to be my friend?" Starfire asked.

"Ummm, Phil, got sucked into the TV, black and..." He began, all the Titans behind Starfire were mouthing 'NO', "Ummmmm, sure

Starfire then gave Phil a bone crushing bear hug. "Jesus Christ, Star!"

"How did you know my name?" Starfire asked, puzzled.

"Well, it's a long story..." Phil began.

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Please R&R! Oh and all you Cyborg fans, dont worry, he'll be back, with cheese! 


	3. Slade's Identity

**Chapter 3

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I do not own Teen titans, if I did, Slipknot would be Slade's henchmen O.o

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"So..." Robin began, confused, "In your dimension, we are comic book/TV heroes and thousands of people watch our adventures?"

"Pretty much, yeah," Phil said, putting an ice-pack on his head. He was in the sick bay, getting checked for anything that might have happened to him. Beast Boy walked in with a white lab coat and shook his head.

"Your seal-weight artixon has suffered a florgle to the grank, we will have to operate..." he said improtantly, "I'm so sorry..." Raven came in with some papers. She hit him over the head, Beast Boy yelped. "Du-ude!"

"Shut it Beast boy!" Raven shouted, "Phil, you have nothing wrong with you." Phil exhaled in relief, "Except, that you now can control air." Phil put his fist in the air in jubilation.

"YES!" He yelled, "Can I be in the team?" Robin thought about this for a moment.

"Well, normally we have to train you and all the crap but... Since everyone is a bit OOC at the moment, sure why not?" He said, being a little OOC himself.

"Whats OOC?" Beast Boy said.

"Out of character you dork!" Shouted a random reader.

Cyborg suddenly ran into the medical room holding a wheel of cheddar. (Ha AddictiveJon!)

"Fo shizzle ma homies, lets bust some ass with mah ancient wheel of super-cheese!" He screamed and suggested at the same time.

"Yes friend Cyborg, the 'asses' as you say are in here..." Starfire told him, leading him into the quarantine zone, told you OOC. She then slammed the door and put the quarantine on. She then casually walked back into the medical room. "Friend Cyborg shall not bother us anymore." She said, smirking (OOCness).Everyone stared at Star for her show of cunning.

"You're crampin ma style yo!" Cyborg shouted from the quarantine zone. Suddenly, the alarm went off. A stupid orange and black mask with a REALLY annoying voice showed up on the screen.

"Robin." Suddenly, suspense-y music comes on.

"Slade."

"Dude, is that all you EVER say to Slade when you see him?" Phil asked. He knew that he did of course.

"It is time to reveal my true identity..." Slade began, "You will be shocked and appalled..." Robin started sweating. He knew what his identity was from the apprentice series, he hoped that no-one would ever find out.

"Dude, I'd laugh if he was like, Michael Jackson" Beast Boy wondered. Slade's voice grew REALLY high.

"Hey, who told you?" Slade asked and he ripped off his mask, revealing (dun dun dun)...Michael Jackson. The Titans (and Phil) all cringed at this. Starfire hugged up to Robin and Raven to Beast Boy. Raven noticed this and they both blushed furiously and let go.

"Dude!" Beast Boy exclaimed.

"That has _so_ made my day..." Raven murmered.

"He is most unpleasent to look at," Starfire declared.

"Slade, you just got 1000 times eviller!" Robin growled. All of a sudden, Cyborg burst in with the smoking remains of his cheddar.

"NOOOOOOOOOOO!" Cy screamed, "Cheesey..." Then he looked at MJ wearing Slades outfit, "Oh...My..God, y'all." Everyone stared at him, even Slade. "Damn y'all!" Then he ran out of the room, clutching his cheese close to his chest.

"Robin, if you dont stop me, I will be playing thriller all day, on every TV, radio and website forever!" Slade (MJ) screamed.

"That is too evil and you know it!" Robin told him.

"Yes, now goodb-" But Slade could bever finish, a legion of Goths just appeared behind the screen and hacked him to death... Raven suddenly spoke into a secret microphone, "Thanks guys!"

The goths on the camera waved.

"No problem Raven," They all said. Everyone then decided to go to bed. This was Phil's first night in a weird, yet cool, city. He climbed into Terra's old bed and drifted off to sleep, trying to ignore Cyborgs insane screaming of cheeses and such...


	4. Bustin' ma homies sendoff!

**Chapter 4**

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**I don't own the Teen Titans but I own me! hugs self**

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**"BEAST BOY!" 

"DUDE I DIDN'T KNOW!"

That was all that Phil heard from his bed. He groaned and put the pillow over his ears. This hardly muffled the sounds of an angry Raven and a scared Beast Boy. He decided to get up.

"Whats the time..." He moaned, he looked at the clock and his eyes widened in shock, "7.00AM Jesus Christ!" He put his shirt and jeans on, very slowly and was listenin to all the crashes and screams from the other room. He decided not to go out until he heard Robin's voice.

"What the heck is goi- OH MY GOD RAVEN! PUT SOME CLOTHES ON!" Robin yelled.

"Yes friend Raven, please put some of your attire on!" It was Starfire.

"I WAS ABOUT TO UNTIL THIS KLUTZ WALKED IN!" Raven screamed, pointing at Beast Boy. Phil bolted into the hall. He could have (and nearly did O.o) wet himself laughing at the scene in front of him.

Starfire was standing there, confused and Robin had his hand over his mask, he was facing Raven and Beeast Boy. Beast Boy was on he floor, with a cartoony lump and plaster on his head, he seemed unconscious. Raven had for eyes, shewas holding a HUGE mallet (kinda like the one in Super Smash Bros) and was dripping wet with a _very_ loose towel wrapped around her.

"What happened?" Phil asked, holding back the laughter.

"What happened? WHAT HAPPENED!" Raven screamed in his face, " I was having a shower, minding my own business when the Green Goblin here walked in! He ran out and then I got out and guess what. HE RAN IN AGAIN!" Phil couldn't handle this. He just burst out laughing. He soon doubled over with laughter. He regreted it because at that moment he flew out of a window, surrounded by black stuff.

Luckily his fall was broken by something soft. He looked around him and burst out laughing. Cyborg was standing in front of him, he had a black suit on with the bible in his hands. Around him were various types of cheese, all with scraps of black on them and name tags, cheddar, gorgonzola etc. Next to the cheese was a crude cardboard cut-out of a priest. He looked on what he landed and gasped in horror. He had squashed the remains of Cheesey, Cyborg's cheddar.

"Yo!" Cyborg spoke up, "You foo, you bustin' ma homies send-off, c'mon dawgs lets bust some caps in his ass!" Cyborg pulled out two uzis. Phil stared at him, the cheeses somehow moved to face Cyborg and EVEN the priest faced him. "Dawgs, this is bogus, fo shizzle!" Cyborg shouted and ran into the sea. All of a sudden Phil's communicator went off.

"He didn't even get one!"Bellowed a hardcore fan (I doubtI have any O.o).

"Shut up!" Phil said and blew up his computer with his wind powers. Satsified he started walking to the Tower, that is until he realized that he could fly (O.o I just love that face, don't you?).

"Report," Robin said, then he babbled on about stuff until Phil heard "TITANS GO!" And they all flew to a small field outsideJump City.

There was Cinderblock wearing a...tutu? Cinderblock was all hippy like, ballet dancing in the flowers and burning incense.

"Makes you feel like doing 'the vomiting'" Starfire said. It was a relatively easy battle as Cinderblock was doped up.

"Why are you here, what is your purpose?" Robin asked.

"To pick pretty flowers!" Cinder block smiled. Robin punched him in the face and Cinderblock started to cry.

"Awwwwwwwww, big guy," It was Raven (OOCness coming back), "Don't worry, we love you and are your friends."

"Really?" asked Cinderblock, tears in his eyes.

"NO!" Screamed Raven and kicked him where it hurts.

They were about to go home when someone blocked their path...

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Dun Dun Dun... Please review PLEASE gets down on knees PLEEEEAAASE

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	5. You, Me Battle fo the Bands!

**Chapter 5

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I dont own Teen Titans, never will, never have... Except this one time in Comic Cam- wait no, that was Marvel Comics ;) **

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_'They were about to go home when someone blocked their path...'_

It was... (dun dun DUN!) Cyborg! He was surrounded by cheeses with mini-uzis in their... urm... holes?

"Yo dawgs, me and ma homies are gonna settle da score dis time, fo shizzle." Cyborg began, "Me, you, rap-battle NOW!" Phil was deeply offended by this, his eyes were wide and his face was red.

"Rap? Me? ME NO RAP!" Phil began screaming at Cyborg. The cheeses clicked the triggers. Cyborg's eyebrow shot up,

"Oh yeah, I fo'-got you iz a RIGHT GOTH!" He shouted, Phil grew calmer. But there was still a manical twinkle in his eye.  
"Ok... Me, you battle of the bands in 10 minutes!" Phil declared and Cyborg and his 'posse' walked down thefield to practice. "Hey Robin, do you have a mahogany B.C Rich Warlock, with HATE inlays,with 3 pickups, a whammy-bar and a Mesa Boogie 100 watt amp?" Phil asked. Robin looked blank.  
"Sure, I'll get that stuff... Whatever the hell it is..." He replied. Then he went, time for Phil to make up his lyrics.

5 minutes later, Robin came back with the Mick Thompson set.A nice, customised guitar with an even better amp.

"Got it all including an effects pedal." Robin said proudly.

"Thanks dude." Phil said and started to work out his riffs. Raven and Beast Boy were randomly talking about chickens and stuff and Starfire and Robin were talking about what types of music were going to be played.

Meanwhile, with Cyborg, the cheeses were practicing the rap words.

"So when I say 'Whos da biggest loser of them all?' What do you say?" Cyborg asked the Gangsta-Cheeses.

"PHIL!" Cyborg screamed out of the side of his mouth. Then, the clock stroke 10 minutes since 10 minutes ago! "It's time!" Cyborg said.

Everyone was ready, Cyborg grabbed the mic and sung,

"Yo, yo, all da Titans in da house say 'Shizzle'" Everyone Shut up.  
"Ok den y'all, here we go..."

_" Yo yo, My names Cy and I like pie,  
His names Phil 'n' I'm gonna kill (him) _

Whos da biggest loser of them all?  
PHI-IL! PHI-IL!  
Who?  
PHI-IL! PHI-IL!

He dresses in black and his hair is WHACK!  
He should go back to his own world,  
He aint even got no girl! (Here)

Whos da biggest loser of them all?  
PHI-IL! PHI-IL!  
Who?  
PHI-IL! PHI-IL!"

"That was for you, Cheesey..." Cyborg said and wiped a tear from his eye, "A'ight Robin that was TIGHT!" He screamed and Robin just gave him the blank face.

"My turn," said Phil, walking up to the stage, "Im not gonna try to annoy Cyborg, I'm just singing a song that I wrote about life." Phil got his guitar out. "This is a real groovy tune,so everyone sing with the chorus!" He started strumming some really heavy power chords. Everyone was shocked at how loud it was.

_"RAAAAAAAAAA!  
I came from a planet were life is crap,  
As Cyborg would say 'Yo its whack!"  
I didnt do anything to you, but thats the way that it goes!  
You hate me so I guess..._

LIFE SUCKS! LIFE SUCKS!  
I shouldnt have ever been born!  
LIFE SUCKS! LIFE SUCKS!  
Listen to Cradle and you'll understand!

And you never even gave a damn in the first place!  
But now I'm singing, the tables are turned!

RAAAAAAAAAA!  
I can't wait for death to take me, his bony hands around my neck!  
His scythe gleaming sharp!  
OOOOOOOOOOHHHHH!

LIFE SUCKS! LIFE SUCKS!  
I shouldnt have ever been born!  
LIFE SUCKS! LIFE SUCKS!  
Listen to Cradle and you'll understand!"

"Just to let you know,I didnt mean any of it, it just sounds cool!" Phil told them.

"Well, based on performance, and how crap Cyborg's was, Phil wins!" Beast Boyand Robin shouted in unison.

"LETS GET PIZZA!" Phil shouted and everyone, except Cyborg and his 'crew', ran to the pizza palace!

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Hey, DeathMetal99 here, sorry for not updating for so long, I got interested in anime (Bleach rocks!) and never go any chance onthe computer. This is to show you that I havent forgotten about you! Thanks to all the reviewers! As always, please R&R

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	6. Super Sporks and Slipknot

**Chapter 6

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**I don't own the Teen Titans or McDonalds... I own loads of cds and mp3s though :D Listenin to them at the moment... Wooooo! Blink 182!**

**(Ppl who dont have a clue about rock music will not get some of this chapter)

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**

Phil and the Titans were flying to the Pizza Palace, when a thought came to Phil,

"Hey, why do they call this place the 'Pizza Palace' anyway?" He asked curiously.

"Well," Beast Boy began, "Its because all of the celebrities (like us) go there."

"Cool!" Phil said, he hoped some cool celebrities were there. They kept flying for 10 minutes in silence, narrowly dodging a stupid falcon who got lost and flew to Jump City (blank face). Then, at last, they saw the golden arches... Wait thats McDonalds, I mean, then, at last, they saw the multicoloured sign! Phil looked around for celebrities and nearly fell out of the air.

"HOLY HELL! Theres Dani and Dave from Cradle of Filth, Mark, Tom and Travis from Blink 182 and..." Phil's eyes grew REALLY wide, "Sid #0, Joey #1, Paul #2, Chris #3, Jim #4, Craig #5,Shawn #6, Mick #7 and Corey #8 from Slipknot!" This time Phil DID fall out of the air. As he hit the ground he could faintly hear Slipknots Conversation with Cradle of Filth and the waiter. Shawn the Clown Masked freak was getting held back,

"Hey Dani and Dave," Corey said, "You wanna eat with us?"

"Sure!" Dave said, then he played his guitar randomly out of the air.

"Table for 11 please waiter!" Mick said, cracking his knuckles, grinning insanely under his mask,

"Sorry Sir, have you a reservation?" The waiter asked politely,

"Reservation? Oh, sorry I left it with HIM!" Dani screamed, pointing at Shawn. The result was a fight where all of the rockers got kicked out and only Blink 182 were left. Phil got up and met the other Titans... who were talking to BLINK 182!

"Hey Mark,"Robin said, "Yo Travis and Tom."

"Hello friends Blink 182!" Starfire said happily.

"Duuuude you guys rock!" Beast Boy triumphantly cheered. He jumped ijn the air and fell over, Raven helped him up and he lent into her. Raven blushed and so did Beast Boy and let go.

"Hi guys, whos this?" Mark asked, pointing at Phil.Phil grew really shy.

"Im friends with your number 1 fan!" Phil blurted,

"Whos that? Starfire? She has all of our records and merch!" Tom shouted. Everyone looked to Starfire and she blushed. They ate a fantastic meal with BBQ pizzas, Tofu Pizzas, Pepperoni Pizzas, Meat Feast... At last, at the end they were fat and full, Travis even snapped his drum stool cos he was so fat... Everything was cool until (you guessed it) Cyborg came, smeared with cheese and a horrible hatred burning in his eyes... uh... eye. Behind him where a gang of hammer wielding,angry,caffienated,smelly, SUPER-SPORKS!

"C'mon foo, me an' you, proper style, y'all. I'll take- whoah! -you down anyday mudda!" Cyborg screamed, nearly slipping on one of Slipknot's masks.

"Well... I think I can vaguely (S/P?) understand where you're coming from... Cos I wooped you BAD!" Phil said mockingly. Cyborg attacked Phil and it ended up with flurrys of fists, throwing of lasers, blowing of air,super-sporks running around, blue whales flying through the air... and the sad death of an unlucky chicken... At last, Cy stood on the ground in the Dragonball-Z-constipated-power-up-style and screamed. The ground started lifting up and his metal started to go yellow.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!" Phil threw a chair at his head and he turned back to Cyborg again, "Damnit, fo shizzle, you iz wack! What's y'alldoin trippin' on mah DBZ power up, dawg?" Cyborg grew angry and he knew he couldnt win the fight. His smeared cheese was running on the floor and the chicken was on the cieling somehow, the super-sporks were raiding the kitchen, along with the legion of terrifying credit cards. "Ill take you on at the Tower..tonight 1 A.M!"

"Cyborg,thats past your bed-time!" The elder super-spork shouted, "Remember you need your beauty sleep!"

"Damn, you're right... just meet me at the tower at 7A.M, I'll whoop you!" Then Cyborg walked out, tripping over Dani Filth and a random pizza. The eveil super-sporks followed him out...

"7 A.M... ok... wait a sec.. 7.AM! Duuude, that is wrong." Phil complained and started eating some pizza... "Eeeeeww...Raw chicken-squashed-by-Cyborg-and-peeled-off-of-the-cieling pizza... "

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R&R... or the super-sporks will get you MUAHAHAHAAHAHA! Sorry, couldnt resist. 


	7. Trigon the Terrible

**Chapter 7

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I don't own Teen Titans... yet...

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It neared 7 A.M... Robin was training... Starfire was looking at pre-teen magazines... (cough PREP cough) Raven was meditating... Beast Boy was staring at Raven meditating... Cyborg was getting hyped up for the fight...The monkey was playing with its nu- Whoooah... Phil was asleep.. As usual.

All the Titans (except Cy, who was STILL getting hyped.) met in the common room. The doorbell rang and thedoor opened.It was 6:59:58 now. But as the clock struck 6:59:59:99999999999999, Raven heard a voice that was very familiar... And very annoying too...

"I have returned..." the voice began, "Daughter..." The Titans gasped. They looked up and saw the familiar red face, red eyes and horns... It was none other than Trigon. -insert shocked face here- The Titans all jumped into the closet under the stairs.

"TRIGON!" Robin whispered, "Ok... Lets think of a plan to get out of this!" Beast Boy thought about this for a second.

"Dude, I totally got an idea!" He exclaimed, clapping his hands.

Meanwhile, Trigon was getting impatient waiting for the Titans.

"Hey, I'm getting a blister waitin for you pipsqueeks... ANYONE ONE HOME, HALF-PINTS !" Now was the time for Beast Boys master plan!

"No !" Beast Boy said with a raised voice, proud of himself,he smiled. He smiled, that is until 8 objects came flying at him at 200mph... "Ouch, didnt have to punch me!" BB managed before he passed out.

"Hey, I thought Trigon died!" Robin said stupidly.

"Ah, so it would appear, but since Teen Titans is viewed by younger children, death would be inappropriate," Starfire said intelligently. The other Titans gave her the blank face.

The Ttians couldn't take it any longer, they went outside to confront Trigon the Terrible. He was sitting down, betting on horses and the tracks.

"Finally you get here, my foots fallen asleep!" Trigon yelled. He slammed his fists down on the floor, causing the room to shake.

"What do you want?" Raven asked. She had that manical look in her eyes.

"Why, the very same reason why I came here in the first place, my sweet daughter..." Trigon began, a smile playing on his demonic features, "I have come for the substance that grants eternal happiness... I come... for SOY SAUCE!" Trigon screamed, "Too long have I been denied of soy sauce on my chow mein and chop suey! Too long have I not been able to taste the greatest thing known to all demonkind!"

"But Raven... you said he was here to take over the world!" Beats Boy said, recieveng a punch from Raven and passing put again.

"He was...but he was going to leave once I gave him my precious soy sauce... Which I will never give!" Raven shouted. This was stupid because as she said it, Robin sold Trigon her secret stash of soy sauce.

"DAMNIT!" Raven screamed and went to her room.

"YO!" Cy yelled, "Phil, time for our fight... Heh Heh Heh..."

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OMG OMG Cliffie... Please R&R me... 


	8. AN

**Author's Note  
**I can't believe Im writing one of these ANNOYING things...

Trust me, I know how it feels...

Anyway, I've got SERIOUS writers block and need some ideas on the next chapter.

Just PM me or tell me in a review if you have any ideas, ok? 3

I'd like to thank all my great reviwers for the great job they've done by motivating me into writing this thing.

So I'm sorry about this DAMN ANNOYING A/N... But I need help.. So if anyone could give me that help, I'd greatly appreciate it...

I've rambled on for too long...

Toodles

Teh uglay author (DeathMetal99)


	9. Free Tickets!

**Teh Real Chapter 8

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Wow.. Im actually doing chapter 8! Thanks to UknwUloveChopstix for the idea. Glomps you ...

Disclaimer: I don't own Teen Titans, SlipknotOR Ronald McDonald (The lawyers made me change the name of this disclaimer so I wouldn't get sued) (w00t Fall Out Boy)

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"Its time for our fight..." Cyborg said, looming over menacingly.. Well as menacingly as you can get wearing dungarees and clown shoes.

"Umm... Dude, why are you wearing that clown's outfit?" Phil asked, holding back the laughter.

"Its my tribal battle uniform, yo! You betta be not dissin' mah threads or you is gonna get beats!" Cyborg shouted, putting on a clown's nose and Ronald McDonald style wig, "You is gonna get it now!"

Cy and Phil got into fight positions. 3... 2... 1... They jumped! Cy let out a battle cry and threw his nose at Phil, Phil shoutedand pushed it away with his wind power. They were about to collide when...

"MAIL CALL!" Robin yelled. Cyborg and Phil fell down face first on the ground, only to get pecked by the random chickens that ran through the common room. What made matters worse was that the chickens 'dropped their bombs', as it where, on the two teen's faces. In an anime second, Cy and Phil ran into the bathroom and washed up and appeared in the mail room (Wow.. mail room!).

"Raven, 30 for you... BB 28 for you... Star 50 for you... Cy 1 for you... Phil ..." Robin's eyes widened while he was handing out the boxes of letters,"398 for you.. 34 for me and 3,000,687 for the chickens." Robin drawled.

"Gratzi!" The chickens shouted and promptly pecked Robin's face.

"Alright boys, we have ze guns.. Let us take over zis vorld! VORLD DOMINATIOOOON!" The leader of the chickens cried and they ran out of the tower.

"Wait a sec Robin," Beast Boy said, "Theres one letter left .. Dude, you totally missed it!"

"Yes, Beast Boy is right.. For once..." Raven agreed, taking the letter out, "It says that we have won 6 tickets for a magical week at 'Chief Bomum's Hawaii resort..." Something seemed fishy about the name 'Bomum' but Raven didnt care, she was reading her fanboys' letters.

"GLORIOUS!" Starfire exclaimed,"We shall do the swimming, and the sunbathing and the surfing!"

"Yeah and I could get a tan..." Beast Boy said coolly...

"Beast Boy... Maybe I remind you you that you are beautif- odd shade of green," Raven corrected herself, blushing. Beast Boy stood there confused.

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Afetr that conversation, everyone went to get changed... Phil was walking down the hallway and heard STRANGE noises coming form the spare closet... Where he kept his clothes! He ran down the hall and ripped the door open.. To find a disturbing sight... Beast Boy and Raven were.. were... MAKING OUT!

"ABOUT $?&ING TIME!" Phil yelled at the top of his voice. He was going to yell something else but Raven grabbed his mouth and yanked him into the closet. "I appreciate the offer but I don't swing that way." Phil said with shifty eyes. Raven just hit him in the face. "DAMNIT..You punch hard..." Raven ignored him and grabbed him by his mohawk. Beast Boy laughed.

"Don't tell anyone ok?" Raven forced him, "Because I _can_ and _will_ hurt you if you blab, ok?"

"Yes ma'am!" Phil agreed, saluting. Phil grabbed his clothes and jumped out of the closet and ran into his room to pack. Little known to him, Star, Robin AND Cyborg were watching the whole thing, giggling insanely.

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The next day, all The Titans arrived at the airport for Hawaii. BB was wearing a black 'No Fear' top with baggy jeans. Raven wore a black hoodie with 'Cradle of Filth' on it and long black chords. Phil was wearing a grey shirt,unbuttoned and underneath was a disgusting Slipknot shirt with maggots on it sayin 'Pulse of The Maggots". Robin wore a red shirt saying 'Kiss me... Im Robbie-poo' and cargo shorts. Starfire the typical preppy outfit and Cy wore the ghetto gangsta style clothes.

The plane just arrived and they all boarded...However... This plane wasnt going to Hawaii... MUAHAHAHAHA...

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Yaaaay update.. I would like to thank UknwUloveChopstix againand glomp her again glomps...

Asalways, please, for the love of pie... R&R 


	10. Tear where it says TEAR HERE

**Chapter 9

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Disclaimer: I own the storyline... I don't own Teen Titans, they belong to Teen Titans, I dont own me, I belong to the world XD

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"DUDE.. Free peanuts!" Beast Boy yelled, he was wedged inbetween Raven and Phil in the plane, it hadn't even taken off and he was already annoying them.**

"Yeh, free peanuts... GET OVER IT!" Raven yelled, causing everyone on the plane to look at her. Babies were crying and chickens with machine guns were mugging people saying that it would pay for 'the new world order'.

"Dude, I can't open them..." Phil said, tears in his eyes. _Dammit..._ he thought _this sucks... No meal, no peanuts..._

"TEAR WHERE IT SAYS "TEAR HERE" YOU FREAKIN' MORON!" Raven bellowed at Phil, making his mohawk flat. No preblem, he got his anti-Raven gel out and spiked it up again.

"Oh yeah..." Phil said, scratching his head and getting wet fingers from gel, "I didnt see that..."

"Ummm... Raven... Say it don't spray it... Hahahaha..." Beast Boy laughed at his own joke. BANG! He was out cold with a black eye.

"That'll shut him up..." Raven said contently. Phil merely stared at her, bug-eyed.

"How can you say that after the sweaty time you spent in the spare closet yesterday?" Phil asked, astonished, with one eyebrow raised. BANG! Phil joined Beast Boy inslumber.

"Ahhhh..." Raven sighed, contentedly. She dozed off into sleep.

During the flight, the chicken's stole Raven's purse, mugged Robin, managed to kiss Starfire, gunned down 3 old men and a turkey, put eyeliner on Phil and make plans with Cyborg and his cheese for 'Vorld Domination'.

As Raven woke up, she stared at Beast Boy drooling on her lap. _Dammit... He's hawwwwt..._ Raven said silently_ Wait a sec.. did I just say hawwwwt?_

"Duuude, are we there ye-BANG Urghh..." Beast Boy sighed. Now he had two black eyes. and a concussion to boot. Phil woke up and looked at Raven.

"Uhhh.. Mrs. Boss lady Sir, look at Robin." Phil said hesitantly. Raven glanced over at Robin. He was looking in a worse shape than BB was, after all, the chickens are uber-powerful... PH33R THEM... ANYWAYS... He had an oversized ice-pack on his head and bandage wrapped over most of his body. Starfire was next to him with chicken spit all over her face, she was blushing and must have had 300 engagement rings on her fingers. Cyborg was dressed up as a chicken and had the insignia of the important 'General Cluckers' on his face and his cheeses all had feathers stuck on them.

"Passengers, this plane is about to land... So grab onto your seats and don't crap yourselves, this is gonna be a bumpy one!" A voice over the inter-com wailed. Phil held onto hsi seat, Raven held on to BB, Robin to Starfire and Cy to his cheeses.

Meanwhile, in a nearby field, a little girl was on her fathers farm. She threw a rock at the steeply descending plane.

"City slicker numbskulls. We don't need no fancy showers and teethbrushamajigs." She yelled, shaking her fists at the plane.

CRASH. A stone went through the window next to Phil. He, Raven and BB started to get sucked out of the window.

"THE JIG IS UP! SWAT IS HERE!" Cluckers yelled and gunned down all his men, including himself.Before he did that, he opened the door and stuff started going messy.

"Oh SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII..." Phil hollered, getting sucked out of the door. In the air, Phil stayed up using his wind powers, Raven used her negative energy and BB turned into a pterodactyl.

"I BLAME YOU PHIL!" Raven screamed and beat him with a dead chicken.

"WTF? I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING!" Phil countered and grabbed an SMG and hitRaven in the arm with it.

"rawr.." Roared Beast Boy.

"Great, the plane is gone and we are in mid-air... What are we going to do now?" Phil asked, uncertainly.

"Rawr..." BB sighed...

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Thats teh end of that chapter. R&R... Pleaaase... 


	11. You're DEAD

**Chapter 10**

**

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Disclaimer: I don't own the Teen Titans. If I did, I'd havesaved Season 6!

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**Phil, Beast Boy and Raven were STILL in mid-air and STILL had no hope of finding the plane, and , of course, Raven was STILL trying to kill Phil with the mangled, bleeding body of the important General Cluckers of the 1st Infantry division of the Chicken army. 

"RAVEN GET LOST!" Phil shouted, running away from Raven, now wielding a _very_ sharp piece of metal from the plane door.

"I'LL KILL YOU, YOU SPIKEY HAIRED FREAK!" She yelled, not caring if she would be arrested for murder.

"WHY? WHAT DID I DO?" Phil asked, dodging bits of chicken and metal. This was dangerous,she was going CRAZAY of the wall style.

"SOMETHING!" Raven screamed,and held a spike of metal in the air.

"Rawr?" Beast Boy asked. Phil and Raven both turned to him.

"SHUT UP BEAST BOY!" They yelled.

"You're DEAD!" Raven howled, and threw aknife, with the blood of 3 chicken soldiers, a hunk of cheese and a weird fungus growing on itatPhil's head. she instantly regretted what she had done.

"NOoooOOOOoooOOOooOOOoooOOOo" BB screamed slow-mo style, and it disappeared.

The Teen titans ending theme tune happened and Phil got sucked into then nearest TV, which was infact one of the plane's TV's that was smashed to pieces on the floor, covered with chicken crap and blood.

"OH SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii..." Is all Raven and BB heard as Phil got sucked into his dimension.

"Oh gingersnaps..." Raven muttered.

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In a small house in England, a random kid who looked like he just fell off of a hobo-circus type thing was screaming his head off, just woken up from a dream. _Dude, _he thought to himself, _that was a weird dream, meh, lets go back to sleep.

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_

The End

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**THE WORST ENDING EVER..** I know, I had writrs block for months and decided to finish this offbut I'm hopefully doing a sequellllll... Yaaay sequels... Please R&R, it's been great writing, even thought it nearly took me a year to finish , and son few chapters, ah well, I'm a lazy sod, so see y'all!


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